Knight at the Movies Archives
The latest entry in the 4th of July movie blockbuster sweepstakes is an unspectacular spectacular of mammoth proportions
Jaws was originally released on June 20, 1975, just prior to the 4th of July weekend but we still have the spectacular success of
Spielberg’s first mega hit to thank – or curse – for the summer blockbuster movie bonanza that has ensued in the 30 plus years
since.  It really wasn’t until the end of the 80s, however, that the all important 4th of July weekend was taken over by the juggernaut
– the movie (or in some memorable years, movies plural) from which all other summer films scurry to get out of the way of.  
Batman
set the tone in 1989 with its monstrous budget, gigantic sets and special effects, emotionally awkward hero, cartoon character villain
and clear delineation of its female characters in either the Madonna or Whore category.  All this thanks to its comic book source
material – the better to appeal to the comic book sensibilities of those teenage movie crazed boys who make these oil tanker sized
movies into hits.  Almost 20 years later, this formula for success is easily used to describe
Transformers, the latest 4th of July
weekend blockbuster.  But the formula ain’t so fresh anymore, is it?

The set pieces arrive in
Transformers right on schedule with all the precision of a Swiss watch but by now the recipe is so familiar to
audiences as to have become dispiriting and even laughable.  The biggest chuckle for the savvy movie audience comes right at the
opening credits when we read “Paramount Pictures and Dreamworks Present” followed by “Hasbro presents” before we even see the
title card.  This is literally the boys with toys movie that adolescent men and their offspring have been awaiting and the wedding of
the toymaker with the two movie studios says that from the get go.  There isn’t a shred of subtlety, character shading or common
sense in the entire two hours and 20 minutes that follows those credits.  Okay, fine – there hasn’t been much subtlety in many of
the previous 4th of July weekend movie offerings, either.  But what about thrills?  Memorable set pieces?  Something to make one
walk out of the theatre and immediately get right back in line to see the picture again?

That’s how I felt about
Terminator 2 in 1991, Batman Returns in 1992, Independence Day in 1996, and even Armageddon in 1998
(directed, as is Transformers, by the king of dumb dumb blockbusters, Michael Bay).  All those pictures offered at least a smidgen of
story for the audience to hang onto, a hip character with heart to identify with, showed off a technical advance in their special effects
sequences, or revealed a director adept at balancing both the effects wizardry and characters.  In 1995, Ron Howard actually trumped
the special effects with the compelling true story of the men in peril aboard
Apollo 13.  In 1997 director Barry Sonnenfeld fused the
star power of Will Smith and Tommy Lee Jones and their crack comic timing to mega budgeted effects and struck gold with
Men in
Black
(though the sequel five years later, also a 4th of July weekend release paled in comparison).  All these were massive hits
proving that audiences love the special effects but love them even more when wedded to characters they can root for and a story
they can care about.

Transformers, however, does not offer audiences more than a morsel of either.  The babykins story essentially is that of a group of
skyscraper sized “autobots” – robots who have learned human-like characteristics – that can turn themselves at will into cars and
trucks and helicopters and cell phones and, well, any machine you can imagine.  There are good transformers (laser blue eyes) and
bad ones (laser red eyes) and both have come to earth seeking a gigantic cube with special powers for reasons that I never could
quite discern.  Shia LaBeouf plays the teenage great grandson of a man who for reasons too complicated to explain knew the
location of the cube thingy and has left him with a pair of spectacles that shows the location so both the good autobots and bad
ones are after him.  LaBeouf himself is after Megan Fox, who literally seems to be a human embodiment of a SIMS character – one
of those plastic Penthouse centerfold women that you’re afraid would melt from all the silicone you suspect is lodged in her body if
she stood too close to a fireplace.  The camera lusts after Fox like a panting schoolboy at almost every opportunity until the special
effects take over and she is relegated to the background.

Also in the background are a lot of mostly male actors huffing and puffing: Jon Voight, Josh Duhamel, John Turturro, Anthony
Anderson and others among them.  Adding a dash of something (thank God!) are the always welcome Kevin Dunn and the
miraculous Julie White (who just won the Tony Award for Best Actress over Vanessa Redgrave and Angela Lansbury – no slouch this
actress) as LaBeouf’s parents.  LaBeouf and Fox themselves are not so much directed as placed amidst the special effects (and his
nerd teenage act is tiring very quickly).  Michael Bay is not exactly a director noted for working with actors (no surprise that the movie’
s filled with campy howlers – though not quite in a league with Bay’s hugely enjoyable guilty pleasure
The Island from a few years
back).

In 2005 we got the ultimate terrorist alien picture – Spielberg’s
War of the Worlds, last year it was Superman Returns with the fetching,
sweet Brandon Routh who carried the day – both winners.  Even when July 4th weekend movies have been rare misses – like
Spielberg’s audience downer
A.I. Artificial Intelligence in 2001 and the overblown Wild Wild West in 1999 – they have at least been
earnest efforts to try to give audiences of all ages a reason to stand on line.  Not so
Transformers.  This is a 4th of July weekend
movie that does offer something new, though it’s something new that insults: it does not care to have adults or kids or any
subgroup (from women to gays and lesbians) as part of its audience.  Here at last is a movie made from first to last for those highly
desired testosterone crazed teenage boys to revel in.  They are welcome to hermetically seal themselves in it until next year’s
Independence Day.
Cinematic Fireworks:
From Jaws to Transformers: 4th of July Weekend Blockbusters
7-4-07 Windy City Times Knight at the Movies Column
By Richard Knight, Jr.